Cruise in Review part 3

The next day we had our first excursion. 

We had to get off the bed fairly early and tender to Georgetown, Grand Cayman. The tendering was not the best part. It equaled a lot of waiting by the time we were done. 

When we finally got to the pier, we were off to our excursion. we got on a bus that took us to a different boat that took us to a sandbar in the ocean called Stingray City. 

It was so funny because the cruise ship takes such good care of you. They have safety guidelines and are giving you hand sanitizer every time you turn around. Then they dump you off at these islands and it's every man for themselves. 

The toilet on the little ship we were on was so nasty. It didn't have running water and the toilet paper had to go in a garbage can. (TMI?) I of course had to visit it (two times)  because taking bathroom breaks was kind of my thing during the entire trip. (Now that was definitely TMI.) 

Anyway, when I came out of the bathroom the tour guide was in the middle of a lecture about the do's and don'ts of stingrays. Trust me when I say there were a lot of don'ts. 

Don't approach them from behind.

Don't lift your feet off the ground. 

Don't touch the middle of their back because there is a row of sharp spikes.

Don't lift them out of the water.

Don't try to lift them period. 

Don't get anywhere near their tail. 

etc. 

So we hear this list of don't and they explain to us that stingrays are dangerous and then we get to our destination, they throw us in the water and we get swarmed on all sides by stingrays. Not an exaggeration. 

Kolton and I were some of the first off the boat and we were seriously swarmed by 20 stingrays. They were between our legs, brushing against our sides, and just everywhere. 

It was at this point that I had a minor panic attack. 

After all the rules we were given I was a tad nervous! Or more than just a tad.

Note the looks on our faces and how we are all clinging to each other.

At one point I let out a yelp and wrapped my arms around Kolton's neck (fight or flight. I'm more of a flight person) and one of the guides got so mad at me.

"Lady, Calm. Down."

Then I got real embarrassed so I tried to be tough the rest of the time. Once I had calmed down it actually was pretty cool and I really enjoyed it. They had a bucket full of squid and if you didn't think about it too much you could reach in the bucket, grab a squid, hold it under the stingrays and they would suck it right up like a vacuum.

They really were pretty neat. They were just huge and so soft and velvety. Towards the end I was actually trying to chase one down so I could touch them some more. So I went a long ways from where I started.

They say if you kiss a stingray you get seven years of good luck so bygosh we did it!

 The boys crack me up in these two pictures.

After the stingrays we went to a reef to do a little snorkeling. Luckily I had taken some Dramamine because I learned from my experience in Mexico and so I didn't get super sea sick. We swam around for a little bit and did end up seeing some pretty neat fish. I am pretty sure I saw a puffer fish. It looked just like the one on Finding Nemo. I was trying to get close to it and disturb it so it would puff up, but that didn't happen. There was also some pretty neat coral. Not super colorful, but there were some neat patterns. One that I saw was shaped like a perfect ball and on the outside it was like a maze. It was really cool looking.

After snorkeling we went back to the boat which took us back to the shore in the longest amount of time possible. I am honestly pretty sure the boat could not have possibly moved any slower than it did on the way back. I don't know if our guides just had some time to kill or what, but it was extremely slow. The water and scenery were beautiful though! (Now that I'm home, I would give anything to be back on that slow moving boat that was driving me crazy at the time.)

When we finally got to the island we hopped on a bus which took us to a beach where we had lunch and relaxed for a bit. We had some pretty good food and it was super hot that day! We were sitting in the chairs and dying of heat. My Dramamine made me pretty sleepy once it wore off so I ended up falling asleep on my stomach and getting sunburned on my back. Unfortunately I didn't realize the ties to my swimsuit were in the way so I ended up with some pretty sweet tan lines in the exact shape of the ties on my swimsuit that I was never able to get rid of.

Then we got on the bus and the rest of the day was spent in lines. We actually started talking to a kid from China and it was really interesting hearing what he had to say and learning a little more about China. But we seriously stood in line for forever waiting to get on the tender boat. It was a good moving line but it wound all over the place.

We finally did make it back to the ship where we laid out for a minute and then went to get ready for dinner. That night we went to a little musical comedy show. It was really fun spending all day on the beach in the sun and then getting dressed up to go to shows every night. We thoroughly enjoyed that part. 

After the comedy show I was being super lame and just really wanted to go to bed. Kolton was wanting to go to a show called The Quest and I finally relented even though I was not happy about it. But I went anyway and actually started to enjoy myself after someone in the audience left and we had a front row seat instead of straddling on the stairs. It really was fun though and we had a nice time. 

Cruise in Review part 2

Finally we were on the ship and after a brief emergency drill we were home free. We spent the rest of that day unloading our suitcases when they finally showed up and then eating in the dining room which quickly became my favorite part of the trip. 

So much food! 

And all of it was so good! 

I think we had prime rib that first night and I definitely remember the carrot cake. 

Oh, the carrot cake.

 Best frosting I have ever had. 

It was cream cheese and just so smooth and silky and fabulous. I was sharing with my mom (since she ordered two desserts and I had passed my peach crumble on to Kolton while I fawned over the carrot cake) and everyone at the table got a kick out of us when we would repeatedly say, "This is sooo yummy" "Yeah, it was a good choice." We probably repeated those few lines to each other at least three times. We are just really passionate about good food. 

That night we walked around for just a minute and then I insisted that we go to bed because I was just exhausted. 

We had our own room which was very nice because every single night I had to take a thousand bathroom trips which is just so beyond irritating. 

I don't know what was wrong with me. 

We woke up the next morning and moseyed on over to the Windjammer for the breakfast buffet and then went to find the rest of our group. 

We found them laying out by the pool and snagged a few chairs to join them. 

We lathered up with sunscreen and soaked up the sun while reading and eating all the free soft serve ice cream we could. (So fabulous) We were conveniently near the Sprinkles machine so we had quite a few helpings. 

After sitting around all morning, we decided it was time for another meal! We again ate at the Windjammer and then decided to check out the Flowrider. We got in line to surf after watching Addi and Brevan boogie board. 

The line was quite long and it was nervewracking because no matter how long you had waited in line, as soon as you crashed your turn was done. That was a lot of pressure! 

We finally did get out there and it was fun! We performed decently and then only bad part was after I crashed and the water swept me away I nearly lost the bottom half of my swimsuit and was trying my darndest to pull it up without anyone seeing my bum. Don't think I was able to accomplish that. 

Then we went back to laying in the sun which was just wonderful. I love to just sit in the sun and read my book. And eat ice cream. 

Soon it was time for dinner so we showered and got ready and headed for the dining room. It was formal night so we got all gussied up. A few weeks before I had been trying to decide what to wear when on a whim I decided to see if the dress I wore for Jr. Miss still fit. I was ecstatic (like, really) when it did. I was at my mom's house and kept saying, "I just can't believe it fits!" and Addi kept saying, "Well, it DOES stretch" which I just ignored.

For dinner that night I had the shrimp ravioli and lobster bisque and it was just delicious. Come to think of it, I had quite a few different bisques. Lobster, strawberry, peach, pineapple, watermelon, to name a few. The dining room also had the best bread. They had these rolls with cheese baked on the top and they just hit the spot.

That night we watched a little bit of a Celine Dion concert (pre-recorded unfortunately) and then we had to find the boys since they were not being Celine Dion fans.

We got out of our fancy clothes and went down to a show called "Invitation to Dance" it was basically a dance recital and I enjoyed it, but Kolton was dying little by little because he is a big baby. After that we headed to bed because I am a nazi about sleep and we had to get up early the next morning.

Cruise in Review part 1

So a month or so ago my parents talked to us about going on a cruise with them and Holdaways and Jacobs. 

Of course we were all in. 

It was a couple stressful weeks trying to get everything ready to go. Not the packing, but getting everything at school organized for a sub amidst my guilt for leaving when I should be working. But it all ended up working out and come Saturday, March 9 the house was clean and we were off. 

Our flight didn't leave Salt Lake until almost midnight. We rode down to Utah with my family and stopped at Red Lobster for dinner. Holy cow, it was good. It was the beginning meal for a vacation full of delicious food. 

We got to the airport, got to our terminal and there we sat. Forever. Our departure time came and went and there we sat not knowing what was going on because no announcements had been made. Finally, after over half an hour of waiting we were able to board the flight and take off on the worst flight ever. I'd never flown the red eye and it was terrible. There is no possible way to get comfortable on a plane. I was in the middle seat and no matter how I would position myself and lean on Kolton and Brevan I was just miserable. 

And then the baby started crying. 

I was trying really hard to be patient because I know the parents were doing everything they could to get the baby to calm down but nothing was working and it was really screaming and my patience was wearing thin. (Also, I turn into a real bear when I am tired. I need that beauty sleep!) 

We finally reached South Carolina and as we were unloading the flight attendant made a note that those of us trying to catch a connecting flight could have missed it. Sure enough, our plane was leaving in less than 10 minutes. 

We finally got off the airplane and Kolton and I booked it to the next terminal which was a very long ways away to try to stop the plane from leaving. I had my backpack on which was full of books and it was just thumping away on my back while I was running and running and looking like a retard. 

I was half dead when I told Kolton to go on without me. (I had to use the rest of the vacation to recover from that bout of exercise) I was able to catch up with him just as the person behind the desk told him that our flight was gone. Which was funny since there was an airplane sitting right behind him with that little hallway thing still connected to it. And it was also funny because there were 13 of us in our group that had missed the flight because of complications with our previous flight. 

And by funny, I mean not really funny at all. 

We are addicted to Friday Night Lights and had to watch it on Kolton's phone

So we had to walk back and tell the news to the rest of our crew. The mothers had to stand in line and try to figure out how to get us all to Florida before the ship left and with all of our luggage. It was kind of a stressful situation there on a Sunday morning in the Charlotte airport. 

We finally got it all figured out which included 3 different flights for all of our people to completely different airports than the one we were supposed to land in. Half of us went to Miami which was 30 mins. from Fort Lauderdale where the ship was and the other half went to West Palm Beach which was also 30 mins. from where we were supposed to be. And our luggage was still a big part of the mystery that no one was being real conclusive about. 

When we got things figured out we had a couple hours wait. And I remembered how much I hate airports. It's just a lot of people waiting in super uncomfortable chairs which overpriced food. A few of us just ended up stretching out on the floor and semi falling asleep. Which was equal parts absolutely disgusting and absolutely necessary. 

He slept just like this for forever. He was the first thing people would see as they got off their planes. Welcome to Charlotte! 

At one point in this waiting game I needed to go potty (Kolton hates it when I say that) and when I got to the restroom the custodian there was full of cheer and compliments. She complimented my hair and told me I looked like a model. After the night from h-e-double hockey sticks I had had, I so appreciated this lady and everything she had to say. I was walking on sunshine as I came out of the bathroom and bragged the story to my family. It was then that my mom chose to ask me if perhaps I had seen the tip jar on the bathroom counter that was for this particular custodian lady. I considered that for a moment before deciding that the custodian was definitely not out for tips but was instead telling me how beautiful I looked after a four hour drive, a night of no sleep, a flight planned by Satan, and an hour of sleeping on an airport floor. Obviously. 

This is how we feel toward US Airways. Also, notice how model-like I look here. 

Anyway. We were finally able to get on the plane which was the tiniest little thing ever. It had a column of seats with two per row and across the aisle was a column with one seat per row. I actually really loved having my own personal seat and row and it was a decent flight. 

When we got to Miami sure enough our bags were nowhere to be found. After a few phone calls it was determined that they were in Fort Lauderdale and had come in on the flight that couldn't wait five minutes for the PEOPLE to get on, but instead was stopped long enough to load all of our LUGGAGE. Which was kinda funny in way that's not really funny at all. 

We were able to get someone from the cruise ship to pick up our luggage and we headed straight for the pier and got on the ship without knowing whether all of our bags would be there or not. 

After the traveling fiasco, the rest of the trip was just lovely.

(P.S. our bags did make it on the ship luckily. It was more than a little stressful.) 

Fluoride

Fluoride was the very worst part of elementary school. Followed by peas at the lunchroom. And basically any food at the lunchroom. 

My mom always made me do it and when they would bring the little packages if fluoride to the room my throat would close up and I would start to feel my gag impulse kick in. 

Guess what? 

Not much changes when you are the teacher. 

When the girl brought in the fluoride I felt my throat close up and was holding back a gag. The kids were right there with me. Except for I just want to pause and comment on how many of my students parents checked the box next to  "no, my child does not have to do fluoride ". This is sickening to me.  You are supposed to make your kid do fluoride to torture them. And also because its a rite of passage in elementary school. And also because it builds character. And also because I absolutely loathed any kid that sat there smiling while me and the rest of the class were swishing away. Don't the parents of today understand these concepts?! 

Anyway. 

So the class was moaning and groaning and altogether having a major panic attack when I told them it was time for fluoride. To show them that it was not that bad I told them I would do it with them. 

Bad idea. 

About 30 seconds in I was gagging and didn't know how I was going to last 30 MORE seconds. But we all did it. And the sickest part of all...I'm shuddering even writing this....was having everyone spit their fluoride back into their cups and then gathering them up in a little Baggie. I started this job and then decided I would give it to one of my super helpful students after I was uncontrollably shuddering    And just altogether  grossed out. 

We had a repeat of the same incident in the afternoon and yes, I did it again. Just nominate me for teacher of the year already! But this time one kid started giggling and ended up swallowing probably half of the fluoride. I had to just close my eyes and not think or I would have had fluoride coming out of my nose too. 

The best part was I told the kids they weren't allowed to complain to me because I had done it twice that day. 

Can't wait for next week. 

Wisdom from Mrs. Hansen

So on a normal day at school I talk a lot. Like a lot. Naturally when you are me and you are talking that much, you are bound to say some stupid things. ( the following is by no means a comprehensive list) 

I had to film myself teaching for a principal evaluation and I was a little nervous about it. Not super nervous because after student teaching I am used to being observed. But I was fairly nervous and just wanted it to go well. I actually told my class that the principal had ask me to film them so she could see how they behaved in class. And they were angels! I should do that more often! Anyway...so I read to them the story of the three little pigs and in this version the wolf ate up the two dumb pigs. It's called natural selection. Anyway maybe that version was a little more traumatic because I had a lot of kids talking about how the pigs didn't get eaten but ran to the brick house. For the purpose of the lesson I wanted the pigs to get eaten and liked my version of the story better. As I was trying to explain that, this pearl of wisdom fell from my lips, "well, different stories are different." Yes, mrs. Hansen, you definitely changed some kids life with that line. 

As soon as I said it I knew what a retard I was and then gave a little better explanation, but i already have video evidence. 

When I had to watch my teaching it was definitely painful for many reasons, but that line was just so embarrassing to me for some reason. Especially when the principal watched it with me and for rewinding purposes we had to listen to me say it at least three times. It was great. 

The other dumb thing I've said lately...that I can remember was when I was just having an off day. It was Thursday   and I don't know what was wrong with me but the whole day was just weird. I couldn't focus or think or anything. It was just weird! Anyway, I was trying to explain that to the kids and tell them I was having a weird day so I told them, "I got my hair done yesterday and I can still smell the chemical on it so maybe I'm just high or something."  Admittedly it's not the worst thing I could have said, but being high is probably not something your fifth grade teacher should be talking about. It didn't really bother me until the kids told me they hoped I wasnt high the next day too. 

And that is just a tiny sampling of the wisdom you can hear from me nearly every day of the week.