July 18, 2014

Infestations

We had a bit of excitement over here the other day. 
I was cleaning up the house and while I was picking up our room I picked up my pants from off the floor and put them on the bed before I folded them. From out of my pants came the biggest, sickest, nastiest beetle-y insect I have EVER seen. I'm not kidding when I say it was as long as my pinky and as wide as my thumb. I have never seen a bug that big before. 
Oh, I am shuddering just writing about it. 
I jumped back and then tried to figure out what to do. My sheets were in the wash so this nasty beetle similar to something you would find in the Amazon rainforest is just cruising around on the mattress pad. 
So I ran into the bathroom to grab some toilet paper, but as soon as I thought through how exactly I would go about squishing that bug with just a little piece of toilet paper, I knew that was not the right route for a wanny like me. 
So then I grabbed the fly swatter and figured I could get it to climb on that and then run to the bathroom and dumb it in the toilet. But that little bugger was way too fast and would climb over the flyswatter before I could even get anywhere. 
Finally, I saw what I had to do and I used the flyswatter to squash that sucker. 
Oh, it was the sickest thing ever with all the grossness and guts and I just don't even want to talk about it anymore. 
So there was that. 
Now I can't lay in bed comfortably because I have the creepy crawlies and I'm a little bit paranoid. 

So that same day after Kolton got home from work we were laying on the couch watching The Office (our new favorite Netflix addiction) when Kolton all the sudden sits up and claims he saw a mouse. 
That statement does not make me very happy. 
So I immediately climb up the couch and perch on the back as far away from the floor as I can get while Kolton starts poking around the entertainment center. 
After a few minutes he hadn't seen it again and was just starting to think that maybe he had imagined it when I yelped, "Ah!! It's right there! Ah! Get it, GET IT!!!"
and this was the funniest ever. 
Kolton leaps up and starts hopping around in a circle on one foot, "Where, where, where!" Oh I died laughing and pointed to the kitchen. 

So Kolton goes to the kitchen and I perch on the counter while he pokes around. Finally I told him to move the fridge and look behind there. As he's moving the fridge and commenting on how he thought I had spring cleaned the kitchen so why didn't I clean behind the fridge and I was in the middle of telling him because I was afraid there was a mouse behind there, sure enough, that little nasty mouse comes running out and heads for the laundry room. 
See the above situation for an idea of how me yelping and Kolton jumping around in circles went. Because it was basically a repeat. And I died laughing again. 

Then Kolton was on the prowl to the laundry room he told me to come in there, but on account of there not being a high enough perch, there was no way that was going to happen. So he was on his own.
But pretty soon I heard a "bang bang!" and then "OH YEAH! GOTCHA YOU LITTLE SUCKER!! WHOO-WEE!" 
And that was the end of our mouse problem. And I could sit with my feet touching the floor again. 

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