The Time I Got Swindled by a Sweet Talking Southern Meat Salesman

So last summer kolton was spending a lot of time listening to the radio while out at work and he repeatedly heard an ad that he just couldn't refuse. 

There was a big sale on meat that was being advertised in the mall parking lot. 

The big selling point was 20 ribeyes for $25. 

Of course my dear husband can't refuse a good deal and since I'm his favorite person to volunteer for these schemes, I was delegated to head into town to check out the sale. 

So I go and when it's my turn in line this southern salesman turns on the charm because somehow he knows what a sucker I am for a southern accent. While I'm under his spell he is just throwing steaks of all kinds all over the place and talking about all the deals he's going to cut me while I am standing there swooning over the way he called me ma'am. 

Not my proudest moment. 

But it worked. 

I walked out of there with not the 20 ribeyes I had come for, but 60 steaks of all varieties. Ribeyes,t-bones, sirloins, filet mignon, you name it. 

As soon as I closed the car door on that sweet southern accent I called kolton in a panic explaining what I had done. He was a little surprised but did a little math and figured that I had still gotten a good deal on everything so he convinced me not to turn around and take it all back. 

So we kept the steaks, and I'll tell you what, they are the worst steaks I have had in my life. They are paper thin and just have a funny taste to them. We can't enjoy a nice steak dinner and they are so bad that we don't even dare give them away or have people over to eat them because they are so nasty. 

And that's the last time kolton sent me to do his dirty work. 

Tidbits

1. One of my kids at school told me I have a mustache. 

Then he gathered a group of kids to come check it out. 

Then he said, "It's okay, don't feel bad." 

Thank you. 

2. We are seriously addicted to Friday Night Lights. 

Netflix is not a good thing for us.

 But yet it is. 

And something about that show just pulls us in even though I really do not like any of the characters. 

Except Matt Saracen.

My heart melts a little bit every time he comes on screen. 

3. Kolton has been picking rock on some pasture they have. Except this is the part that doesn't make sense to me...they pick the rocks, move them around a little and then bury them again. Really he does have a pretty good explanation, but it's just beyond me.

4. I have been in a post vacation depression. I think about the cruise all the time and just miss it a lot. I get a little emotional when I remember that it's over. It's depressing.

5. At school the other day I was reading aloud a book to the kids. It's a Skippy Jon Jones book and has a lot of Spanish words in it. One of the kids was so impressed with my Spanish skills that he commented that if he didn't know any better he would have thought that I was really Spanish and had just painted my skin white. I learned from the best! (Nacho Libre, that is.)

Cruise in Review Part 7

The last day we ate a last supper type of breakfast in the Windjammer. Then we tried to see how long they would let us stay on the boat before they kicked us off. While everyone else was standing in line and getting off the boat we were on the top deck just hanging out. 

We finally couldn't stay up there any longer (but I really wanted to see what they would do if they actually had to kick us off) and then we were on dry land for good. It was extremely depressing walking through the same building on the way out as we did on the way in. We passed a stairwell where Kolton and I had waited for my family to get their SeaPass cards and it was just so sad to be leaving instead of coming. 

Then came the fun part. We got off the ship at 10 am and our flight didn't leave until 5 pm. So there we are with all of our luggage stuck in Florida for 7 hours. Granted, there are worse places to be stuck, but it was still a bummer.

I wanted to go to the beach until I thought through how fun it would be to have a sandy bum on the plane ride home. Basically we didn't know what we were supposed to do, especially since we had about 20 suitcases we were lugging around. 

We finally ended up taking our bags to the airport and checking them in and then we got a cab and went to a  shopping plaza in the hopes of catching a movie. 

When that plan fell through because the movie times didn't correlate with our flight schedule we ended up going to TGI Friday's for some lunch. 

This turned out to be both a good and bad plan. Apparently some cooks hadn't showed up for work that day so they were a little understaffed. I'm pretty sure our waiter was back there helping them cook which is why we sat there for over an hour waiting for our food. 

When the food finally came out, mine, Kolton's, and Marshall's orders were nowhere to be found. I kept thinking they would head back to the kitchen and bring them out but we never saw our waiter again. 

After everyone had finished their food we were still sitting there waiting when our waiter came out. He apologized a thousand times and then told us we could have any dessert we wanted on the house while he was getting our lunch orders ready. 

I had a momentary loss of brain function that caused me to say no, I did not want any free dessert. I do not know what that was all about. I didn't want to spoil my appetite for lunch, I guess even though I'm pretty sure my stomach was exponentially stretched due to the large amounts of ice cream that I had in fact been eating in between every meal the entire week. 

Yes, it was odd. 

But Kolton gave me a few bites of his and then our lunch finally came out. It was really very delicious even though we were the only ones sitting at the table by this time. Everyone else had abandoned us to sit outside. 

After that two and a half hour lunch venture it was time to head back to the airport. So we sat, and sat, and sat, and waited for a cab. 

It was at this time that I figured Brevan and Maci had missed listening to a lecture from Mrs. Hansen so I taught them a little bit about palm trees. 

Finally the cab showed up and took half of our group so the rest of us sat and sat and sat and waited for another one. 

By this time we were starting to get a little nervous about making that flight that we had been waiting so long for. But finally two more cabs came and we were able to make it in time. 

We flew back to Charlotte and had a brief layover and then caught our next plane and were homebound. It was the worst flight of our lives. There was so much turbulence the ENTIRE time. It was late and we were tired and it was just so bumpy and miserable. 

I finished the book I was reading and then watched a movie. After the movie the flight attendants informed us that we were ALMOST halfway there. 

Then I died. 

It was the longest flight of our lives. 

We finally did make it to SLC and were complete zombies while getting our luggage and hitching a ride back to our car. 

Then we started the long drive home. 

When we finally got into our own car at my parents house Kolton commented on how well we did on time on the way home. I told him that my dad had been driving quite fast the entire way home but I was also surprised that we had made it home at the time that we did. 

Turns out, as soon as we got home and saw our clocks we remembered that we hadn't reset our car clock for Daylight Savings Time and that it was indeed 3 in the morning rather than 2 which is what we thought. 

Then we flopped into our own bed and I remembered how smart I had been to clean the house before we left because it was nice to come home to a clean house. 

And that was the end my friends to the best vacation ever!

Cruise in Review Part 6

After all of those fun excursions we had one last day on the ship until we had to get off. I tried my hardest to soak up every last minute of this last day of the vacation because all too soon it would be over and I would be homesick for it. 

Of course, my idea of soaking it up means laying in a chair all day sunbathing and reading my book which I definitely accomplished. 

We started off our day by eating breakfast in the dining room. They had this cranberry bread that was just so perfect. We then had our last five ice cream cones of the trip and just enjoyed the sun, the flowrider, the rock wall, and the last little bit of paradise. 

Sometime in the day I decided that I needed a pina colada. I had been wanting one since leaving Mexico last summer and it was the perfect opportunity. It was pretty delicious too! 

My family ate at Johnny Rocket's but on account of being full of pina colada, we did not join them. 

That night we had our last dinner in the dining room. I had the lamb and it was interesting. 

Even more interesting was Andra's dessert of choice. I don't even remember what it was but it got an A+ for presentation. 

That night we went to the farewell show and enjoyed some comedy from our favorite Joff, the cruise director who was just hilarious and was everywhere. 

Then it was one last stop at the free pizza/sandwich/dessert place and we were off to make sure our suitcases were in the hall ready to be carted off and then it was time for bed.