November 2, 2013

This is why 5th graders are punks.

It's the night of Halloween. 
I'm standing in the dark and cold and rain in my winter coat and sweats with a shotgun in my hand.
Waiting.


So a couple days before Halloween I had my kids at school write a journal entry about their favorite parts of Halloween.
Brevan was freaking out. He asked me at least five times if I was going to read his journal. 
Each time I said no. 
But he kept after me and was quite persistent that I did not read his journal. 
I knew something was up. 

On Halloween day at school one of the kids mentioned he wanted to go T.P.ing that night. I said I was glad he didn't know where my house was and Brevan busted up laughing. 
It was pretty easy to conclude what was going to go down at my house that night. 

On the way home from school I called Kolton and filled him in and he immediately began plotting. I didn't realize what a conniving husband I had until he called me three times with different plans on how he was going to scare our little 5th grade T.P.ers. 
One plan included him dressing up as a scarecrow and hanging himself from one of our trees. 
I finally got him to calm down and think a little more realistically. I guess I just didn't realize what an affinity he had for scaring people!

Eventually his plans led to the part with me waiting outside with a shotgun loaded with flares and him waiting next to me with a scary Halloween mask. 

Our carefully laid plans went to heck soon after that. 
The car full of boys pulled up near our hiding spot and Kolton and I got separated in our rush to find a new hiding spot.

We had agreed to let them have their fun before we scared the living daylights out of them. Then I was going to shoot three flares into the sky and Kolton was going to run after them being all sorts of freaky. 

They started their T.P.ing and were rather confident due to the fact we had turned off all the lights in our house and made it appear that we weren't home. They approached our front door and were all sorts of excited about the bowl of candy we had left out for trick or treaters. 

Meanwhile I was searching for Kolton in the darkness and silently counting to 100 while I hid behind the bushes. 
When I was at 95 I suddenly heard the roaring and the screaming and realized Kolton had jumped the gun. (Probably due to the fact that he could see the boys were getting quite a bit of T.P.ing done and had decided they had long since "had their fun.") So I fired off my shots as the boys went screaming and running back toward the car. 

They finally calmed down and we all had a laugh over it as we were standing in the front yard talking for a minute. Then I realized that a few of the boys had recovered from the scare and were STILL T.P.ing. 
They had been caught but not deterred and while we were standing right there in the yard watching them they just kept on doing what they set out to do. 
So then we made them leave and WE cleaned up the mess even though I was about frozen at this point. 

We all had a good laugh the next day at school and HOPEFULLY they won't try it ever again.....

yeah, right.

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