The Raspberry Pretzel Jell-o Incident

So lately we have had quite a few family parties. At every family party we have, there is always that pretzel raspberry jell-o stuff. I really love it, so it's definitely more than okay, but every time I eat it, I can't help but have a blast from the past...

 

 

I was in highschool and had just attended a friend's farewell. I was a little intimidated because this friend had many other attractive friends. I had gotten myself all dolled up and was enjoying my lunch outside. The wind was blowing, but it was still a nice little afternoon. I just kept food on my plate and water in my cup and everything stayed where it needed to on the table.

 

Someone sitting a little ways away from me was not so smart.

I'm sitting there eating a very large helping of yummy potatoes when I hear a little yelp down the table, and the next thing I know, a plate comes flapping up and smacks me in the side of the head.

The plate flapped away, but I was left with a hairful of raspberry pretzel jell-o.

 

I sat there for a second in disbelief as everyone else at the party stopped for a second and stared at my hair full of jell-o and whipped cream. Then a few people grabbed me and hurried me off to the bathroom to help me clean up. By this time I was laughing a little uncontrollably. I was just imagining what everyone else saw: a plate flying through the air, hitting me smack on the head, and the look that surely must have been on my face. This picture show in my mind was cracking me up and I couldn't stop laughing. The ladies (complete strangers, by the way) who were picking the jell-o, whipped cream, raspberry, and pretzels, out of my hair kept saying they couldn't believe I was laughing.

I didn't tell them this, but I'm pretty sure laughing was the only thing keeping me from crying at that point.

Eventually I got cleaned up and only had a slight pink tint to my hair so I went back to the party.

 

 

Ever since that incident, every time I eat raspberry pretzel jell-o I can't help but smile to myself and wonder why on earth these kind of things are always happening to me. 

Bloody H-E-Double Hockey Sticks

So the other day we were driving into town to meet up with my parents for dinner, run some errands, go grocery shopping, and other unpleasant such things. (minus the part where we met up with my parents. That was pleasant of course!)

So we are on the freeway about ten or so minutes out of town and I started complaining to Kolton about how badly I needed to blow my nose but there were exactly zero kleenex in my car. I had checked every pocket and nook and cranny but there were none.

I've been recovering from a death cold for the third time already this year. I think it's time to start using hand sanitizer on a regular basis! Those germy kids at school...

 

So I don't want to be completely gross, but for lack of kleenex and being sick of sniffing, I finally reached for a piece of paper on the floor and used that instead.

Gross.

and almost completely ineffective.

 

As if that wasn't bad enough, suddenly I had an unstoppable bloody nose. Yuck! And no kleenexes in sight. So I start ripping the same piece of paper into chunks and put it up to my nose to staunch the flow. Then I lean my seat way back and order Kolton to get off the first exit and to the nearest gas station.

I didn't have to tell him twice. He put the pedal to the medal and got us to a gas station within minutes. Then he jumped out of the car and ran into the men's bathroom and stole me a roll of toilet paper. By this time my nosebleed has mostly stopped and now I have dried blood all over my nose and mouth and cheeks and it was real nasty but also really funny.

And I really don't know why these kind of things always happen to me.

Maybe to remind myself not to take life so seriously...

I dunno.