Cruise in Review part 1

So a month or so ago my parents talked to us about going on a cruise with them and Holdaways and Jacobs. 

Of course we were all in. 

It was a couple stressful weeks trying to get everything ready to go. Not the packing, but getting everything at school organized for a sub amidst my guilt for leaving when I should be working. But it all ended up working out and come Saturday, March 9 the house was clean and we were off. 

Our flight didn't leave Salt Lake until almost midnight. We rode down to Utah with my family and stopped at Red Lobster for dinner. Holy cow, it was good. It was the beginning meal for a vacation full of delicious food. 

We got to the airport, got to our terminal and there we sat. Forever. Our departure time came and went and there we sat not knowing what was going on because no announcements had been made. Finally, after over half an hour of waiting we were able to board the flight and take off on the worst flight ever. I'd never flown the red eye and it was terrible. There is no possible way to get comfortable on a plane. I was in the middle seat and no matter how I would position myself and lean on Kolton and Brevan I was just miserable. 

And then the baby started crying. 

I was trying really hard to be patient because I know the parents were doing everything they could to get the baby to calm down but nothing was working and it was really screaming and my patience was wearing thin. (Also, I turn into a real bear when I am tired. I need that beauty sleep!) 

We finally reached South Carolina and as we were unloading the flight attendant made a note that those of us trying to catch a connecting flight could have missed it. Sure enough, our plane was leaving in less than 10 minutes. 

We finally got off the airplane and Kolton and I booked it to the next terminal which was a very long ways away to try to stop the plane from leaving. I had my backpack on which was full of books and it was just thumping away on my back while I was running and running and looking like a retard. 

I was half dead when I told Kolton to go on without me. (I had to use the rest of the vacation to recover from that bout of exercise) I was able to catch up with him just as the person behind the desk told him that our flight was gone. Which was funny since there was an airplane sitting right behind him with that little hallway thing still connected to it. And it was also funny because there were 13 of us in our group that had missed the flight because of complications with our previous flight. 

And by funny, I mean not really funny at all. 

We are addicted to Friday Night Lights and had to watch it on Kolton's phone

So we had to walk back and tell the news to the rest of our crew. The mothers had to stand in line and try to figure out how to get us all to Florida before the ship left and with all of our luggage. It was kind of a stressful situation there on a Sunday morning in the Charlotte airport. 

We finally got it all figured out which included 3 different flights for all of our people to completely different airports than the one we were supposed to land in. Half of us went to Miami which was 30 mins. from Fort Lauderdale where the ship was and the other half went to West Palm Beach which was also 30 mins. from where we were supposed to be. And our luggage was still a big part of the mystery that no one was being real conclusive about. 

When we got things figured out we had a couple hours wait. And I remembered how much I hate airports. It's just a lot of people waiting in super uncomfortable chairs which overpriced food. A few of us just ended up stretching out on the floor and semi falling asleep. Which was equal parts absolutely disgusting and absolutely necessary. 

He slept just like this for forever. He was the first thing people would see as they got off their planes. Welcome to Charlotte! 

At one point in this waiting game I needed to go potty (Kolton hates it when I say that) and when I got to the restroom the custodian there was full of cheer and compliments. She complimented my hair and told me I looked like a model. After the night from h-e-double hockey sticks I had had, I so appreciated this lady and everything she had to say. I was walking on sunshine as I came out of the bathroom and bragged the story to my family. It was then that my mom chose to ask me if perhaps I had seen the tip jar on the bathroom counter that was for this particular custodian lady. I considered that for a moment before deciding that the custodian was definitely not out for tips but was instead telling me how beautiful I looked after a four hour drive, a night of no sleep, a flight planned by Satan, and an hour of sleeping on an airport floor. Obviously. 

This is how we feel toward US Airways. Also, notice how model-like I look here. 

Anyway. We were finally able to get on the plane which was the tiniest little thing ever. It had a column of seats with two per row and across the aisle was a column with one seat per row. I actually really loved having my own personal seat and row and it was a decent flight. 

When we got to Miami sure enough our bags were nowhere to be found. After a few phone calls it was determined that they were in Fort Lauderdale and had come in on the flight that couldn't wait five minutes for the PEOPLE to get on, but instead was stopped long enough to load all of our LUGGAGE. Which was kinda funny in way that's not really funny at all. 

We were able to get someone from the cruise ship to pick up our luggage and we headed straight for the pier and got on the ship without knowing whether all of our bags would be there or not. 

After the traveling fiasco, the rest of the trip was just lovely.

(P.S. our bags did make it on the ship luckily. It was more than a little stressful.) 

Fluoride

Fluoride was the very worst part of elementary school. Followed by peas at the lunchroom. And basically any food at the lunchroom. 

My mom always made me do it and when they would bring the little packages if fluoride to the room my throat would close up and I would start to feel my gag impulse kick in. 

Guess what? 

Not much changes when you are the teacher. 

When the girl brought in the fluoride I felt my throat close up and was holding back a gag. The kids were right there with me. Except for I just want to pause and comment on how many of my students parents checked the box next to  "no, my child does not have to do fluoride ". This is sickening to me.  You are supposed to make your kid do fluoride to torture them. And also because its a rite of passage in elementary school. And also because it builds character. And also because I absolutely loathed any kid that sat there smiling while me and the rest of the class were swishing away. Don't the parents of today understand these concepts?! 

Anyway. 

So the class was moaning and groaning and altogether having a major panic attack when I told them it was time for fluoride. To show them that it was not that bad I told them I would do it with them. 

Bad idea. 

About 30 seconds in I was gagging and didn't know how I was going to last 30 MORE seconds. But we all did it. And the sickest part of all...I'm shuddering even writing this....was having everyone spit their fluoride back into their cups and then gathering them up in a little Baggie. I started this job and then decided I would give it to one of my super helpful students after I was uncontrollably shuddering    And just altogether  grossed out. 

We had a repeat of the same incident in the afternoon and yes, I did it again. Just nominate me for teacher of the year already! But this time one kid started giggling and ended up swallowing probably half of the fluoride. I had to just close my eyes and not think or I would have had fluoride coming out of my nose too. 

The best part was I told the kids they weren't allowed to complain to me because I had done it twice that day. 

Can't wait for next week. 

Wisdom from Mrs. Hansen

So on a normal day at school I talk a lot. Like a lot. Naturally when you are me and you are talking that much, you are bound to say some stupid things. ( the following is by no means a comprehensive list) 

I had to film myself teaching for a principal evaluation and I was a little nervous about it. Not super nervous because after student teaching I am used to being observed. But I was fairly nervous and just wanted it to go well. I actually told my class that the principal had ask me to film them so she could see how they behaved in class. And they were angels! I should do that more often! Anyway...so I read to them the story of the three little pigs and in this version the wolf ate up the two dumb pigs. It's called natural selection. Anyway maybe that version was a little more traumatic because I had a lot of kids talking about how the pigs didn't get eaten but ran to the brick house. For the purpose of the lesson I wanted the pigs to get eaten and liked my version of the story better. As I was trying to explain that, this pearl of wisdom fell from my lips, "well, different stories are different." Yes, mrs. Hansen, you definitely changed some kids life with that line. 

As soon as I said it I knew what a retard I was and then gave a little better explanation, but i already have video evidence. 

When I had to watch my teaching it was definitely painful for many reasons, but that line was just so embarrassing to me for some reason. Especially when the principal watched it with me and for rewinding purposes we had to listen to me say it at least three times. It was great. 

The other dumb thing I've said lately...that I can remember was when I was just having an off day. It was Thursday   and I don't know what was wrong with me but the whole day was just weird. I couldn't focus or think or anything. It was just weird! Anyway, I was trying to explain that to the kids and tell them I was having a weird day so I told them, "I got my hair done yesterday and I can still smell the chemical on it so maybe I'm just high or something."  Admittedly it's not the worst thing I could have said, but being high is probably not something your fifth grade teacher should be talking about. It didn't really bother me until the kids told me they hoped I wasnt high the next day too. 

And that is just a tiny sampling of the wisdom you can hear from me nearly every day of the week. 

Love story

It is unfortunate how long it's been since I wrote about our lovely love story...

Once I got back to BYU I got right back into the swing of things. My roommates were wonderful and I just really loved them a lot. I even started a blog ( yep, this one) and of course I was talking on the phone to kolton every night. And just like the first night back I realized that he was missing me. ( and I missed him a little too) I had lucked out with my schedule and didn't have class on Fridays so it worked out really nice for me to go home on Thursday nights and spend the weekend in Monteview. And I did that. A lot. My poor car got many miles put on her during this time. 

One night while I was talking on the phone to kolton he said something like, "we'll how are we suppose to find a ring if you are in Utah?" And then I died and answered with some stupid yet witty comeback probably. I remember hanging up the phone and then FREAKING out to my roommates. In a good way, but I just was so happy that we had finally reached the point to talk about ring shopping rather than whether or not we should break up. 

That was a good day. 

After that I put together a little plan. I had told kolton that I had a bunch of stuff to do that weekend and wouldn't be able to come home. But I just wanted to surprise him and I definitely wanted to be available for that whole ring shopping thing. And he believed me. 

When Thursday finally came around I went straight to rexburg ( I had started doing that a lot on my way home) to koltons apartment. He was not home his roommate informed me. So I told the roommate that I had wanted to surprise him and I would be back in an hour. I went to a friends apartment and visited with her and called kolton to see what he was up to. I was so very sneaky. 

When I knew he was home i headed over to his apartment and knocked on the door. It took a minute but finally he answered. (He told me later that he was back in the kitchen and his roommates were all sitting by the door but no one got up to open it. I loved that they were working with my plan!) anyway...we're standing on the doorstep and he seriously just looks at me for like thirty seconds before he realizes what is happening. And the. He was so so happy. He hugged me like twenty times and told me I had armed myself a nice dinner so we went out to eat. That was a good day. 

So....

So...a few random facts about life lately. 

1. For some odd reason the kids at school seem to think that kolton is  the coolest. They told me the other day that when I need a sub I should just get kolton to do it. I informed them that I am  waaaay cooler than kolton and that every night when I tell him about what happens at school he says..."I could not do that" (referring to about every aspect of teaching.) I was talking to kolton about this epidemic and he informed me that it was probably because he brought the potato gun to school. I then informed him that it was MY idea in the first place and the potato gun would never have made it to school if it weren't For ME. What can a person do to get some appreciation around here!! *

2. I made the sickest ever lemonade for mutual the other night. A whole gallon and a half of it (at least) I told the girls not to drink it because it was gross but they did anyway. One girl suggested that we all fill our cups and then do our own little Fear Factor. Thanks. 

3. While I was in the midst of making that lemonade i.e. squeezing a billion lemons by hand, I was also in the midst of making quest dip (that turned out to be delicious) and since I was distracted I burned a thick layer of velveeta to the bottom of the pan that took two days of scrubbing and soaking before it was clean. 

4. Because I am the meanest teacher in the world the kids at school had to memorize the preposition song and sing it in front of the class. I was so nervous for them and felt so bad ( I cried a little that night) because they were so dang nervous. Their voices were shaking and oh, I just felt awful. But all of them did really well. One student in particular I was especially proud of. He stood up at the beginning but got stuck and then just stopped and sat back down. At the very end of class I asked if he wanted to try again and he said yes. He did the whole thing perfectly and the rest of the class clapped so loud for him when he was done. That was a good moment. These kids are just the sweetest. 

  

5. For koltons birthday I got him Netflix and it has kind of transformed our lives. No more five dollar movie bins at Walmart! We can get any of those weird ole shows and watch them once instead of buying them and never watching them again. It's fabulous.

6. Speaking of weird old movies....kolton bought Groundhog Day and we watched it the other night. Oh my stars, I was ready to strangle someone by the end of that show. It is pure torture masked as entertainment. 

The end. 

*it really doesn't bother me that they love kolton. It actually melts my heart a little bit. 

A Day in the Life

I figure it would be a good idea to give a little snapshot of our life as of now. 

Every morning I roll out of bed at the last possible second. Most of the time laying in bed is spent pushing the snooze button and trying to figure out how to do my hair in the fastest way possible so I can get some more minutes of mattress time. Really I should just get up. I realize this. 

When I finally do get outta bed I get ready for school and then as I'm rushing out the door late as usual, Kolton hands me my breakfast (usually a breakfast sandwich or smoothie) and my peanut butter and jam sandwich for lunch and I head off to school and he heads off to work. 

Once I get to school I have a half hour ish of prep time before the kids come in. I always brush my teeth once I get to school on account of eating breakfast on the way to school and then just take a few deep breaths to prepare for the chaos of the day. 

When the bell rings I stand at the door and say hi to my power class as they come in. In half an hour my morning class will come in and I'll spend about five minutes trying to get them calmed down and working. Yes, I realize I should have nipped this in the bud in like, the first week of school. But we are working on it! 

Then we do spelling, English, and Literature Circles. All of this is punctuated by a lot of me saying, "Shhh..." "Listen" etc. Actually I don't say a lot of that. Well, I guess I do but most of what I do now is hold up a timer and the kids can shush themselves. We add up all the time we have earned the subtract the time we lost when we're talking etc. and then on Fridays we'll play games or have recess or just do whatever the heck we want. It's pretty fun and works like a charm for these kids. Like, seriously. Every day I am so grateful that I ended up keeping a random textbook and rereading it this summer to find this idea. Pure genius, and I can't even take the credit for thinking it up. But it has sure saved me. 

Then we have lunch. Depending on the day I either grade papers and plan lessons or just sit quietly in my chair enjoying the silence and calm. Usually the latter. That morning class sure gives me a run for my money. I feel like I am barely one step ahead of them most of the time. They just really love life! :)

After lunch I take either the morning or afternoon class depending on the day to the computer lab for keyboarding. Because I am the meanest teacher in the world I give them the little cardboard covers that go over the keys and they work on their typing lessons. 

Then the kids leave for P.E. for half an hour before the afternoon class comes in and I start the day over from the top. Except there is a lot less shushing for this class. They can get kind of wild, but for the most part are much calmer than the morning. I'm so glad I have them in the afternoon because I can leave school feeling like a decent teacher. 

After school I stay until about 4 doing the lesson planning and grading that didn't happen during lunch and then I head home. 

Once I get home I plant myself on the couch and don't move for two hours. Seriously. It's kinda bad. If I have a lot of ambition I will cook dinner. I've actually gotten a lot better at that since the new year. I cook dinner most nights now. 

Then Kolton comes home and if he doesn't have a church or EMT meeting we eat dinner together and then usually end up watching a few episodes of King of Queens. Usually much of that time is spent telling Kolton about every tiny aspect of my day and if it's a particularly good day he will tell me more about his day than "I don't know. " And then we go to bed! (After I've talked Kolton's ear off and he's half asleep of course.) And that's that!

Clumsy

I have been so clumsy lately! I don't even know what my deal is but it's makin me crazy!

 

The other night I went to the kitchen before bed to get a drink. I filled my glass clear full of water and then went to reach for it and knocked the whole thing over spilling water all over the counter. So dumb.

 

Last night we were cleaning up dinner and I put all the leftovers in a container so I could take them to lunch today because I am getting awful sick of peanut butter and jam sandwiches every. single. day. So I carefully spooned all the pasta in a container and then somehow, I'm still not sure how it happened, the container slipped and I tried catching it and ended up holding it upside down as all the contents plopped onto the floor. Now that's enough to just tick a person off.

 

And then just about every day I trip over my own feet as I am walking around my classroom. Luckily the kids are usually working so hopefully too many of them don't notice how dumb their teacher is.

 

And that's all I got to say about that.